As the Disq Turns

Author: Coccyx

  • For only $5 a month, you too can install a completely useless commenting system!

    For only $5 a month, you too can install a completely useless commenting system!

    Are you fond of Sri Lanka even though you hate all foreigners? Do you have an extra $5 a month to waste because you never bother purchasing cleaning products for your home? Do you not know how to use Adblock? Then Hyvor Talk is for you!

    That’s right! Hyvor Talk – where you won’t have people constantly whining about your moderation decisions and/or things you have nothing to do with! Or maybe not.

    Hyvor Talk – where you can’t tag a billion Disqus users who have no interest in your shit!

    Hyvor Talk – where you can still downvote to your heart’s content!

    Hyvor Talk – where they can still ban you for your constant spamming, threats, and harassment!

    Install Hyvor Talk today!

  • 5 things that never happened, and 1 that (unfortunately) did

    5 things that never happened, and 1 that (unfortunately) did

    5 things that never happened:

    • Channels still exist? And people are complaining about them? Huh.
    • So will Ferd be doing all this stuff he pretends other people are doing before or after his next fake heart attack?
    • Thanks for helping Wishy to report those TOS violations, random troll who’s totally Ryan!
    • Did the interweb police hoist him on their shoulders and start a parade after he “took down” the site, too?
    • Someone’s “daughter” pretended their “mother” died and magically logged into her Disqus account so she could tell all the trolls about it. PROTIP: If all your internet “friends” are pretending to die to get away from you, it’s probably because you’re an asshole.

    And one thing that did happen:

    My EYES!!!!!

  • I have become all things to all people

    I have become all things to all people

    1 Corinthians 9:22, NIV: “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”

    from That fiction book that conservative idiots love

    I’d like to thank the weak (aka the usual batch of trolls) for elevating me to the level of God. You’re beyond saving, tho. Sorry, guys!

    Is swatting gnats “bellicose” now? Who knew!
    Um, Matty – oops I mean “drifter” – knows that he replied to someone named “Molly Queen of Disqus” and not me, right?
    Who are these people? They seem to take up a lot of real estate in Wishy’s head.

    Keep on worshiping me, ‘kay? It makes me all hot and bothered. But not as hot and bothered as you are!

  • The idiot’s guide to doxxing yourself

    The idiot’s guide to doxxing yourself

    Step 1: Whine as loudly as possible whenever someone mentions your name and then explain EXACTLY how they can dox you:

    P.S. The ***** stands for MEAKA, as we all fucking know at this point. Hope that helps.

    Step 2: Pretend not to know that a search for your just your first name, MEAKA, doesn’t come up with anything about you on Google.

    http://www.just-fucking-google.it?s=%22meaka%22

    Step 3: Because you’re a moron, keep bringing up Minneapolis, where you live.

    Step 4: Don’t forget to post your own picture!

    Step 5: Frequent sites where your doxxers post so they can get your IPEEZ, and then whine about how nothing’s your own damn fault. Oh yes, and make sure to get angry when someone points out that you’re not being doxxed by use of your first fucking name, you fucking idiot.

    Congratulations! You’ve just doxxed yourself.

    As an extra bonus, conveniently forget how you you and your boyfriend used your website to dox others!

  • Dregs Wellness Check

    Dregs Wellness Check

    It seems many dregs across the U.S. and the rest of the world have become disillusioned. Let’s see how they’re doing:

    Still delusional. Check!
    Still delusional. Check!
    Still delusional. Check!
    Delusional. Check! And Mate!
    Thanks for pointing out why BLM exists, Pablo! Because black people keep getting “prodded”. I’m glad you finally understand.

    Wait – looks like the truth may be starting to set in!

    “So just to recap: Trump will pardon Lil Wayne, Kodak Black, high profile Jewish fraudsters … No pardons for middle class whites who risked their livelihoods by going to ‘war’ for Trump,” fumed a user in a white supremacist channel on Telegram, the encrypted messaging service that has gained thousands of new subscribers since the Jan. 6 Capitol riots.

    –Politico

    In the days following the violent Trump-inspired insurrection at the US Capitol on January 6, the FBI warned all 50 states that similar “armed protests” were being planned by right-wing extremists around their capitol buildings. But on Inauguration Day, at least, those protests turned out to be complete duds.

    Not only have there been no incidents of violence at state capitols on Wednesday as of 4 pm ET, but at many of them, the number of MAGA protesters could be counted on one hand.

    –Vox

    I spoke too soon. 🙁

    Enjoy your new home, dregs!

    If you know a dreg who needs help (and by help, I mean being rounded up and jailed), report their Disqus accounts here: FBI Tips

  • Taking out the Orange Trash Party Time!

    Taking out the Orange Trash Party Time!

    Counting down the seconds!

  • The Insurrection Follies aka The Snowflake Rebellion – in memes

    The Insurrection Follies aka The Snowflake Rebellion – in memes

    Thanks for proving you’re all a bunch of racists and nitwits, guys! Have fun in prison!

    Look! It’s Joe the Mall Cop letting everyone into the building!
  • The Great & Powerful Coccyx’s 2021 Predictions

    The Great & Powerful Coccyx’s 2021 Predictions

    I have looked into my crystal G6 ball and hereby decree that the following will happen in 2021:

    An orange idiot shall be ejected from office, will throw a tantrum about home decor, and will be found dead by erotic asphyxiation, holding a picture of Mitch McConnell

    Squirrels will be mechanized into soldiers.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRbpbEc9f7wVt90kkNQzJVT

    28 days after the first person catches the 5th mutant strain of COVID, Will Smith’s career will come alive again

    Franz Kafka’s “The Trial” will be made into an animated feature by Netflix, voiced by David Hasselhoff

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmIOlZDUblw

    5G will herald in the new era of lizard alien overlords

    Some white person will be an asshole to some stranger for no reason and get hit in the face with an as yet unknown object

    https://youtu.be/OkMLUhZjPOk?t=28

    Internet trolls will continue to bitch, moan, cry, and be unable to spell properly. However, they will finally be able to find love on the internet by taking this guy up on his offer:

    https://twitter.com/gwenisadorable/status/1340831610611118080

    Our resident attention whore will continue to attention whore while doxxing herself.


  • Suggestions for how to celebrate your non-denominational day off

    Suggestions for how to celebrate your non-denominational day off

    Get takeout Chinese.

    See a movie:

    See a play:

    Sit on Satan’s lap:

    Visit the land of Scarfolk.

    Watch the Kate Bush Christmas Special from 1979.

    Get yourself some Hot Dog Water.

    Punch a racist.

    Watch the Star Wars Holiday Special:

  • Help ATDT rebrand! Take the poll

    Help ATDT rebrand! Take the poll

    Which name should ATDT pick in order to rebrand ourselves as a true news source?
    National Public Ridicule (NPR)
    Meaka’s Still Nonsensical, Being Cunty (MSNBC)
    Public Buffoonery Seekers (PBS)
    Fleecing Old Xenophobes (FOX)
    Clearly Needling Nudniks (CNN)
    Nevar change, ATDT. Nevar change

    Link to poll (just in case): https://linkto.run/p/JJDM3K8M

  • NEWSFLASH: Triggered by potatoes!

    NEWSFLASH: Triggered by potatoes!

    DUMBASS, MINNESOTA: Meaka, self-proclaimed feminist who supports her ex-boyfriend doxxing women online, is now convinced that As the Disq Turns is a proper news source that should only report on stories she wants it to, and is very VERY upset about what ATDT chooses (or doesn’t choose) to post.

    We asked local psychiatrist, Dr. Keforkian, about Meaka’s many issues:

    “She appears to be under the mistaken impression that she was singled out for ridicule, like many narcissists often do. She neglects to realize that items in the post she’s whining about are in CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER from January 2020, and not that “she’s number one” on a ranked list. She also has no sense of humor. Too bad she didn’t get COVID so she’d stop typing about herself and her fake issues for 5 minutes.“

    Here are some handy tips from the national “Make an Effort At not looKing brain dAmaged online” hotline (or MEAKA for short):

    1. ATDT, like Fox News, is not an actual news source
    2. Grow a sense of humor
    3. Be less self-involved
    4. Don’t go to websites that upset you so much
    5. Throw away your electronic devices

    Only you can make yourself not look like a complete idiot online.

  • 2020 ATDT Highlights

    2020 ATDT Highlights

    They were simpler times back then (at the beginning of 2020). We started with potatogate and solar minimums:

    Mashed potatoes are
    the spawn of satan!
    A purple haired bitch said so!

    Downvoters were revealed and liars lied as always.

    Then, the coronavirus hit us – it was a “panoramic treat”!

    We sailed on the seas of dumb ships, and several new ATDT shows began, including:

    We got trolls’ hopes up by moving to a new webhost. Even Harvey Sphincter showed up!

    Several hilarious feuds commenced, some with people who don’t exist.

    Trolls took no responsibility for their own actions. Oh, and lots of dregs.

    And, most importantly, we got rid of the biggest troll of them all.

    Here’s to looking forward to 2021!