All the news that isn't news, except trolls think it's news
Forkless was born a poor, black child in the lowlands west of Germany –which are not to be confused with the highlands west of Germany, where you can find all sorts of interesting people, such as: Anyway, being a poor, black child in the West German-adjacent-lowlands was not the easiest thing to be, especially during…
ALAYNA: Hi, I’m Alayna! I exist only in the mind of some troll! MARTIN: OMG! Me too! Let’s be best friends! A: Okay! What shall we do today, bestie? M: Let’s try to get into Walmart without a mask! A: Let’s take our guns with us, too! *CUT TO 20 MINUTES IN THE FUTURE* NEWSCASTER:…
We here at As the Disq Turns welcome contributions by new authors, such as this stunning work of fiction by Timmy “Spy” McBrain-Damage, titled “Avatar: The Budget Version” (soon to be a video on YouTube presented by a forehead and a bottle of mustard): Wait, is “avatar coccyx” a sock or not? I’m so confused….
Once upon a time, Little Lurker Gerald lurked somewhere he really, really wanted to be a part of, but where no one liked him so he couldn’t participate. Yep, keep on using this gif I made, guys! Shows how much you adore me! XD The reason no one liked him is because he was a…
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a crazy old woman in possession of a trailer in Anderson, CA must be in want of meth. “Perhaps if I tell Mr. Saeed, uh, I mean Mr. Paul, things he (and everyone in the known universe) already knows, he’ll finally take me out behind the woodshed and…
This week’s topic: Absolution ab·so·lu·tion /ˌabsəˈl(y)o͞oSH(ə)n/ noun formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment. My dear friends, trolls, and inexplicable hangers-on, I am here today to speak to you about absolution. Yea, I’m talking about forgiveness for former Disqus sins, which I’ve probably forgotten the particulars of at this point or didn’t really give a…
Previously on Disqlandia, Little Red Riding hood twirled and “sang” (screeched) into Bleatington and was greeted with enthusiasm by that old witch who loved Red’s voice: Meanwhile, Micromind had gotten tired of other people on soap boxes as he claimed he could be the only one on a soap box. He started lighting other peoples’…
Previously on Disqlandia Micromind consumed the golden chickens… little did he know they were just spray painted gold and had no powers Frustrated again he stood upon his soap box in Bleatingtons town square, now claiming he was a spokes person for Disqlandia and could invite people into others homes, unfortunately no one heard him…
The people of Bleatington never grew tired. They whined and cried all day but made sure to console each other by stating… Elsewhere… On a farm a man went to collect his daily dose of knowledge from his informative and helpful golden chickens. When he went to the coup they were nowhere to be found……
In a far away place lived a happy kingdom with beautiful land, people, unicorns and shit. The people would play music and dance all day! Then one day a troll came in. A big nasty one that called himself Micromind. He would eat children and brag to all about how he had a special way…
Warning disturbing content please don’t read if you’re like Urnie JR Holliday and “trigger” easily. Circa mid 1990s. He claims he let his only daughter be taken off by a cult. Most humans with a brain speculate it’s because his father Urnie Sr Holliday had molested him from when he was a child. It was…
Once upon a time, poor little Mariam the Shitlover rolled around in her own shit and called it roses. She did it so often that no one paid attention to her. So, she complained about people using “bad words” and pretended she was a “good person” and called others “scum” while constantly posting pictures of…