This week’s topic: Absolution

ab·so·lu·tion /ˌabsəˈl(y)o͞oSH(ə)n/ noun formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.

My dear friends, trolls, and inexplicable hangers-on,

I am here today to speak to you about absolution.

Yea, I’m talking about forgiveness for former Disqus sins, which I’ve probably forgotten the particulars of at this point or didn’t really give a fuck about beyond the point of “wow, this person’s a complete and utter idiot/asshole/psychopath – ban it, forget it exists, move the fuck on.” Well. unless you’re still keeping up your racist, sexist, attention whore-ist, generic moron-ist ways.

No matter how drunkenly and incoherently you randomly ask for absolution in the night for yourself or your buddies in the middle of completely unrelated conversations, I cannot and will not grant it. Especially when you’re obviously drunk. And it’s in the middle of a completely unrelated conversation. Not that I would anyway, BUT COME THE FUCK ON. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT? I must be mellowing in my old age because DAMN, I would have banned someone for that nonsense in the olden days.

So, my children, release yourself from your own burdens or just shut the fuck up. Your issues are not my problem.

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