The True Story of Forkless
Forkless was born a poor, black child in the lowlands west of Germany –which are not to be confused with the highlands west of Germany, where you can find all sorts of interesting people, such as:
Anyway, being a poor, black child in the West German-adjacent-lowlands was not the easiest thing to be, especially during the Great Plaguepression of 1923 when World War Three was going on in Thighland (citation: Donald J. Trump), so Forkless decided to whitewash himself in the great tradition of Jesus Christ, and then travel forward, fully grown, into the 25th century where he was educated by robots and aliens, and then came back to the 21st century, with some minor stops to check out Punk and Line Dancing along the way.
But how did Forkless travel in time? It’s been rumored that it involved an IBM 5150 computer and some microsingularities, but no one really knows. All we know is that he can dance a mean Macarena and looks bangin’ in a kilt.
Today, Forkless can occasionally be seen in the wild eviscerating conservatives by using facts.
Anything other supposed “truths” about Forkless are nothing but filthy, filthy lies.
See you next time!