All the news that isn't news, except trolls think it's news
Earlier this week, Disqus officially turned over the company to their most prolific troll account, unofficially known as “Huggy” due to his issues with older women hugging younger men, in a move that surprises no one. As the shittiest Disqus volunteer mod stated, “I’m so over banning people,” right before he blamed other people for…
That’s right ladies, gentlemen, and troll hangers-on — a pool cleaner has found some cures for COVID!* Isn’t that amazing? Apparently, having blood, taking geriatric vitamins, and huffing chlorine, ozone, and hydrogen peroxide could have saved hundreds of thousands of people! If you have any of the following symptoms, at least you’re dying from something…
I know you’re all dying to know more about me, especially those certain people who shall remain soulless nameless, so here are some fun facts about moi! Fun Fact #1: I haven’t and will never, ever, comment on your shitty website(s). Especially not to look up someone’s Disqus rep numbers, because anyone can do that…
Since the inbred constituents of Buttfuck, Georgia’s 14th Congressional District have elected QAnonist (QAnoner? QAnonass?) weirdo Marjorie Taylor Greene in the House primary, people have been wondering “What the fuck is QAnon?” Well, dear readers, that’s what As the Disq Turns is here for – real news reporting. So, for a quick primer on QAnon,…
Looks like everyone’s favorite “self-published” Kindle “book” is getting a sequel! In Succubus 2: The Hydroxycholoroquine Factor, a new character, Dr. (I’m not a real doctor, I have a degree from a Cracker Jack box … in Science!) Stella Immanuel attempts to cure people of Succubus possession by using a drug she found for 5…
The reviews keep coming in! FLAGGED! The Musical is a huge hit! FLAGGED! The musical is the story of Whiny Bitch and his cronies, who are flagged by a figment of their imagination they call “FLAGGED!”. It stars a mirror as “FLAGGED!”, Gerald as “Whiny Bitch”, Desert Woman as “Fake Jew”, and Geezus as “A…
First, there’s “Things White Supremacists Say”, a compilation like “America’s Funniest Home Videos”, but starring racists! A few examples: Then, we have a slightly more somber dramedy called “No Dick Pablo”, the story of a ‘man’ who is so concerned with other people’s genitals because his own shriveled up and fell off at a bus…
It’s the sitcom you’ve all been waiting for! Will wishin-he-had-a-brain ever realize that no one gives a fuck about his screeds? Will Pony keep making wishin-he-wasn’t-a-moron look like a fool? Stay tuned!
Just sit right back and you’ll watch a tale of a dude so full of shit he couldn’t spell the word “shit” right because his brain’s unfit
Which one of our most laughable trolls is the dumbest? Is it: Brian, the Nazi UPS wannabe who never crops their screenshots? Granny, the trailer trash, makes shit up, lying liar? MC, the still can’t spell, talks to himself, racist fucktard? Meaka, the attention whoring, hypocritical moron? Paul, the desperate for some female company but…
