That’s right ladies, gentlemen, and troll hangers-on — a pool cleaner has found some cures for COVID!*
Isn’t that amazing? Apparently, having blood, taking geriatric vitamins, and huffing chlorine, ozone, and hydrogen peroxide could have saved hundreds of thousands of people! If you have any of the following symptoms, at least you’re dying from something that’s not COVID! Tell your friends to start huffing right away!**
And look! There’s a SCIENTIFIC STUDY and shit!*** An excerpt:
An “opinion” is something you believe that isn’t necessarily true or valid
“Will be verified” means it hasn’t currently been verified
“Strongly encourage randomized controlled trials … to study” means that no trials or studies have occurred when the paper was written.
Ergo, THERE IS NO PROOF THAT THIS WORKS IN REGARD TO COVID INFECTIONS.
Oh, look! Here’s another study: Hydrogen peroxide poisoning
So remember, everyone! Pool cleaners are experts in COVID now! It’s a whole new world!
*DISCLAIMER: None of the things mentioned are preventatives or cures for COVID. Do not try them at home, unless you really want to kill yourselves.
**DISCLAIMER: Don’t do this either.
*** The “and shit” makes it totally gangsta.
It was great seeing how much work you put into it. Even though the design is nice and the writing is stylish, you seem to be having trouble with it. I think you should really try sending the next article. I’ll definitely be back for more of the same if you protect this hike.
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