Category: Trolls Being Trolls

  • Newsflash: Disqus Officially Says “Fuck It”

    Newsflash: Disqus Officially Says “Fuck It”

    Actual Image of Disqus HQ

    Earlier this week, Disqus officially turned over the company to their most prolific troll account, unofficially known as “Huggy” due to his issues with older women hugging younger men, in a move that surprises no one. As the shittiest Disqus volunteer mod stated, “I’m so over banning people,” right before he blamed other people for getting trolled by a person with blatant psychological problems and a million accounts.

    The “Finn” mod account, which is actually Disqus employees Anna, Ryan, or Sam at any given time, then proceeded to ban and/or temporarily ban random commenters who dared respond to any post made by Huggy. “We used the time-tested method of eenie-meenie-miney-mo to pick who we banned, since there are still plenty of obnoxious comments up made by people we like,” said Finn, who then turned the bot mod back on and deleted every image posted for no reason. Then they yelled “NEET PRIDE”, genuflected to a picture of Andrew Tate, and copy and pasted a paragraph about the gross national product of Indonesia over and over again.

    In related news, the price of coconuts has plummeted while shares in VPNs have risen exponentially.

  • Zombies and Betas and Trolls, Oh My!

    Zombies and Betas and Trolls, Oh My!

    What’s happening on Disqus, you ask?

    Say hello to our dregs rising from the dead, Wishy & Ferd!

    Ferd is apparently ChatGPT now. Poor dead Ferd. The Wishy account is just boring. Work harder, fake Wishy!

    Let’s see, what else – oh yes, a kid who can’t get laid because of his lack of height combined with his hatred of women and generally awful personality is pushing a bunch of pseudoscience! So, nothing new.

    And poor little Huggy can’t get a break.

    Of course you do, hugster. Of course you do.

  • Asshole vs Dickcheese Smackdown

    Asshole vs Dickcheese Smackdown

    Once upon a time, a person, and I use that term loosely, called Sarah Ann got banned from Mahatmashitbag’s sites. Considering all she posts are her age (OMG A BOT IS IN HER 80s!), prayers, and descriptions of her hard-ons for Trump, no one is surprised by this. Except for Wish-He-Had-More-Influence-Than-He-Does, apparently. So he got banned, too! Now they’re participating in a homoerotic slap fight on the interweb. Enjoy!

    Oh, how the first sentence below especially had me laughing my ass off… (this is a snip from an extremely long-winded as usual Wishy comment)

    …especially when it’s negated by the whining about ATDT, as usual! ATDT must have killed his dog or something.

    “It’s okay, I can be racist as fuck! I HAVE ISRAELI FRIENDS!!!! And they all act exactly the same!”

  • Happy New Year! Let’s celebrate by laughing at more Small Dick Energy

    Happy New Year! Let’s celebrate by laughing at more Small Dick Energy

    Thanks for this, Greta Thunberg. I <3 you!

    On another note, here’s a couple of our small Disqus dicks hilariously talking about being “professional writers” while being incoherent:

    Better check your CO2 detectors, guys! You’re definitely suffering from confusion (not knowing why you’re banned from, well, everywhere decent), blurred vision (not being able to see that you’re huge trolls), headache and nausea (well, you give everyone else these). Here’s hoping for chest pain 🤞!

    Happy New Year to everyone who isn’t a piece of shit!

  • A gift for the new year

    A gift for the new year

    2022’s looking good already!

    Club Zero, we hardly knew gave a fuck about you! Which of Shitbag’s other 500 “blogs” will get shut down for racist propaganda next? Stay tuned!

  • Fun Facts about Coccyx

    Fun Facts about Coccyx

    I know you’re all dying to know more about me, especially those certain people who shall remain soulless nameless, so here are some fun facts about moi!

    Fun Fact #1:

    I haven’t and will never, ever, comment on your shitty website(s). Especially not to look up someone’s Disqus rep numbers, because anyone can do that by appending their username to the end of the following link, you fucking morons:
    https://disqus.com/api/3.0/users/details?api_key=R1xXRNQyeHV72yLehk79kS4C1evT3p7EW2e0Pn1EdGVCBuuF4CtsORsYDaHx1Wm8&user:username=

    And the above link doesn’t make up fake stories about people being trolls, either! It’s like MAGIC!

    Fun Fact #2:

    I can spot a troll a mile away. Especially one that wants to be me! Case in point:

    https://disqus.com/by/disqus_Tmkn6k7ckG/

    Oh look! It’s someone who likes to play with the API and loves me so much they’ve pretended to be me on several occasions. Who could it possibly be?! Hi Disqus Is Shitty Platform sock #462 – the version that can actually speak English a bit. Good job!

    Fun Fact #3:

    I enjoy living rent free in your heads, but can you please clean up the place? It’s like someone dropped a shit bomb in there.

    Hope that answers all your burning questions, trolls!

  • Someone’s mad at Disqus and he’s going to rant on the Twitosphere, by gum!

    Someone’s mad at Disqus and he’s going to rant on the Twitosphere, by gum!

    Oh no! You mean Wishy was (finally) banned after years of harassment and posting fake news? SAY IT AIN’T SO!

    Wait, is he asking the same “Ryan” who he harassed on a daily basis for the past several years to reinstate him? Or his imaginary friend “Ryan” who’s actually some guy named mohib khan? Either way, good luck with that, bro!

    But wait! He mad about other shit, too!

    Oh wait, does he mean hate speech like this?

    Oops! Looks like someone just reported himself by mistake! Thanks for proving your universal ban was the right move, Wishy! (But thanks more, Sally57092221!)

    But he’s not just mad at Disqus! He’s racist against yogurt, as well!

    On a happier note, at least he took his wife to see Neil Diamond in 2015. Or was that just him just adding mental torment to her hellish marriage to him?

  • Still rent-free in your head after all this time

    Still rent-free in your head after all this time

    Here you go, troll contingent — an article all about you!

    Online Trolls Actually Just Assholes All the Time, Study Finds

    Also, this is Vincent Price:

    This is NOT Vincent Price:

    Hope that helps! Thanks for keeping me flush with cash by obsessively clicking on ATDT!

  • I have become all things to all people

    I have become all things to all people

    1 Corinthians 9:22, NIV: “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”

    from That fiction book that conservative idiots love

    I’d like to thank the weak (aka the usual batch of trolls) for elevating me to the level of God. You’re beyond saving, tho. Sorry, guys!

    Is swatting gnats “bellicose” now? Who knew!
    Um, Matty – oops I mean “drifter” – knows that he replied to someone named “Molly Queen of Disqus” and not me, right?
    Who are these people? They seem to take up a lot of real estate in Wishy’s head.

    Keep on worshiping me, ‘kay? It makes me all hot and bothered. But not as hot and bothered as you are!

  • Dear Coccyx:

    Dear Coccyx:

    Could you just give me your password? Hacking is hard!

    C’mon! I hate AtDT so much that I want to break into your website so I can be closer to you! But I’m not obsessed or anything!

    Well, I didn’t want to hack AtDT anyway! Fuck you, bitch!

    –A Random Troll

  • How dare AtDT quote trolls verbatim?!

    Wow, we must be really awful people for screencapping what trolls say online!

    You know, stuff like this:

    Stop doxxing yourself, moron.

    Or when someone pretends (badly) to not be a racist pig and gets upset when they’re called out:

    Or my personal favorite, people whose every comment is completely fucking racist and/or idiotic:

    The only “traitor” to the human race (and common decency) is you, Nurse Ratchet.
    PROTIPS: There were no protests because the shooter was caught and brought to justice immediately. The only lives that don’t matter are racist fucks’ lives like yours. HTH

    But pointing out these trolls and showing the world what they said is BAD, mmmkay? So definitely don’t post more of their idiocy in the comments, because that would be wrong!

  • Aliens vs Racists

    Aliens vs Racists

    (Illegal) Aliens are apparently messing with the Disqus word filters on racist sites!

    Did you know that not calling people the N-word is now “Pro-BLM”? Huh. I thought it was just “not being a racist piece of shit”.

    Not only that, but these same nameless (Illegal) Aliens have apparently given Vampire Racist an anal probe! Not just one, but continuously for a year! Guess he liked it.

    Where, Molly? Could it be…ALIENS?!

    But what do these aliens want from us? POLITICAL “CONTROLNESS”! [sic]

    What the actual fuck is “political controlness”, you moron?

    But wait! There’s more! DISQUS IS RUN BY (ILLEGAL) ALIENS!

    No one will “go down” anywhere near you, Vampire Racist.

    Huh, it seems the Disqus Aliens have a TOS. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! THEY DON’T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!