NEWSFIGHT!

So who’s sick of Disqus morons? As we all should be! So here’s a little fun instead. Which news story makes you hate 2020 a little less? In this corner, we have “German nudist chases wild boar that stole laptop at Berlin lake“. An excerpt: “Because the bag contained his laptop, he gave it his…

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Schizotypal Personality Disorder and You

We here at AtDT are always concerned about the well being of our fans, especially the mentally vulnerable ones who obviously have some kind of mental disorder. This week, we’re going to discuss: Some of our biggest fans exemplify this disorder. Example of strange, outlandish, and paranoid beliefs: Examples of extreme anxiety in social situations…

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So, you want to be able to post on AtDT

In addition: And, in conclusion: Stop crying. It’s okay not to be able to post here, really.** **DISCLAIMER: Nᴏᴛ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴏsᴛ ᴏɴ AᴛDT ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sᴇᴠᴇʀᴇ ʙᴜᴛᴛʜᴜʀᴛ, ᴇxᴄᴇssɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴀɢɢɪɴɢ, ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴅɪᴘsʜɪᴛᴛᴇʀʏ. Dᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ʙᴀɴɴᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴅᴜʟᴛ sᴜᴘᴇʀᴠɪsɪᴏɴ. Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀɴ ᴀᴅᴜʟᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ʙᴇɢɢɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴏsᴛ…

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Fun times with Alayna and Martin

ALAYNA: Hi, I’m Alayna! I exist only in the mind of some troll! MARTIN: OMG! Me too! Let’s be best friends! A: Okay! What shall we do today, bestie? M: Let’s try to get into Walmart without a mask! A: Let’s take our guns with us, too! *CUT TO 20 MINUTES IN THE FUTURE* NEWSCASTER:…

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How to not get featured on AtDT

People (especially those who look like Jeffrey Epstein post mortem) seem to be having difficulty understanding how NOT to get featured on As the Disq Turns. It’s very simple: Especially don’t threaten to shut a forum down for the hundred millionth time, while then contradicting yourself saying you really don’t want to shut it down,…

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BANNED from TGO: An AtDT investigative report

The Great Outdoorsman has banned our own Leslie Lannister! For those unfamiliar, TGO is a forum filled with pre-pubescent boys talking about assblasting, shitting, and necrophilia. But why was Leslie banned? Was someone offended on behalf of Yoko Ono? But wait! What is this about? Is there some kind of strange love triangle here between…

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The ATDT Book Review

We here at As the Disq Turns like to keep our content fresh and highly intellectual, so we’ve decided to add a new Book Review segment. Enjoy! “Lemons Aren’t The Only Fruit – Or Are They Minerals?” by Morel “Joe” Mahoney Winner of the Karen Prize for dumbest fiction, Lemons Aren’t The Only Fruit –…

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NEWSFLASH: Masks protect users from 5G

In an amazing turn of events, drug maker Pfizer (known mainly for Pro-Exit) has determined that masks protect users from 5G frequencies. An official announcement is expected later today. Public reaction has been highly favorable: “I used to make up stories about how masks were bad for you because I’m a complete moron, but now…

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How to survive being banned from a troll forum

So, you’ve been “banned” from posting somewhere you never wanted to post anyway. How can you survive this affront? Step 1: Laugh your fucking ass off There’s nothing funnier than some troll thinking being “banned” from their site, where you’ve never posted or wanted to post, is “punishment”. Step 2: Laugh even harder Okay, maybe…

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