Since the movie theaters reopened to show new movies instead of old ones here, I’ve covered myself in Lysol and seen four movies. I only really liked one of them, and it wasn’t Tenet (which was fine, but I know Inception, sir, and it was no Inception). It was The Personal History of David Copperfield. The other two: Bill & Ted: Nostalgia couldn’t save it, and The New Mutants: Crap.
General disappointment notwithstanding, I am looking forward to seeing more movies somewhere other than on my computer again. Anyway are some random trailers for upcoming movies. Talk amongst yourselves.
An incel is a loser who can’t get laid, mainly because they are convinced they’re entitled to sex even though they’re massively unattractive and don’t even have a decent personality to make up for it. They are also known as “nice guys”.
One way to spot an incel is that they get extremely angry when you turn them down for sex (or even just ban them from a discussion forum).
Or, even if you’re a piece of shit they don’t want to fuck. HOW DARE THEY?OH NO! Is your hand broken? Can you not afford a fleshlight? Is whining on the internet about not getting laid what “it’s like to be a man”?Sorry, you’re just an asshole. Maybe you should look into men instead.
Another way to spot an incel, according to some British Orthodontists (not an oxymoron, apparently), is that they have no discernible chin and turn to YouTube to remedy this:
Are you sick of pedos doubling down on defending other pedos? Take a pedo break and refresh yourself with the latest edition of NEWSFIGHT!
In this corner, we have “Things you should never buy on Etsy”:
An Alabama man has been indicted on multiple federal charges after authorities say he was making drugs in his kitchen and marketing them as cancer treatments.
The drugs, according to the indictment, were homemade suppositories manufactured in an environment so unsterile that customers reported finding pieces of hair in their suppository packs.
Versus “Someone’s never seen a real one” in this corner:
Authorities did their due diligence this week after a woman thought she bought a package of smoked turkey tails but received something that was much more phallic-shaped than expected.
… “I’m calling Save A Lot, this ain’t right,” Singfield said on a Facebook livestream. “I know what this is.”
And catty-corner, we have a special mention:
Four men who blasted compressed air into a friend’s RECTUM are jailed after a judge rejected their claim that it was a prank in Norway
It’s nice to know that stupid people exist other places than Disqus. At least they’re not raping children!
No worries! We always have plenty of dicks to laugh at here!
Today’s dregs are whining about movies & tv:
Where do you get this stuff? Out of “The Particularly Stupid Racist’s Handbook”? PROTIP: That wasn’t the issue, sport
But wait, there’s even more dumbassery about this!
OMG, you are fucking idiots.
“THEY WANT TO REWRITE HISTORY”…you mean like rewriting the whole bit about the Manson Family killing Sharon Tate? That revision? That one’s okay, is it?
And an extra added bonus from everyone’s least favorite racist – have a dash of homophobia, too!
Maybe you should stick with “Duck Dynasty” – seems more like your “brand”.
Keep on keepin’ on in your sewers, dregs! We need the lols!
A lot of our troll fans here at As the Disq Turns like to pretend they’ve “blocked” us. They post screenshots of themselves “blocking” a few random individuals who comment here via their Disqus settings (after which they immediately unblock us all so they can screencap our comments) and say that they “blocked AtDT”. Well, AtDT is a website, not an individual, so faux-blocking a few individuals will not block As the Disq Turns, as anyone who isn’t dumb as a box of rocks understands.
If you actually want to block AtDT, here’s how to do it.
Download/install any of the following and and block asthedisqturns.com:
That’s right, known whiner and titfearer Gerald “Wishin-he-had-a-brain” blocked himself today:
Then, he was so embarrassed that he forgot he made that racist sock himself he blamed the eponymous non-entity “ATDT” for it and then pretended to “block ATDT”. Because, as everyone in the world knows, only him and his ilk call people the N-word, not anyone here on As the Disq Turns, because we’re not a bunch of fucking inbred racists. Just scroll through any of their comment histories to confirm the constant whining about BLM and “house negroes” and “plantationists”.
Countdown until Gerald “un-blocks” “ATDT” so he can whine harder in 3…2…1…
So, Desert Racist has taken time out of her busy schedule of being racist to make a completely original thread on 1960s music that no one in the world has ever thought to make before! (Oh wait, it’s happened at least a million times since Disqus began and will coninue to happen, but she’s pissed!)
Wait until she finds out there were black and brown people making music in the 1960’s! It will be hilarious!
Elsewhere, a complete mental midget is really upset that Dolly Parton, who they think sang Coal Miner’s Daughter, is an SJW!
Forkless was born a poor, black child in the lowlands west of Germany –which are not to be confused with the highlands west of Germany, where you can find all sorts of interesting people, such as:
Based on something that actually happened to Forkless
Anyway, being a poor, black child in the West German-adjacent-lowlands was not the easiest thing to be, especially during the Great Plaguepression of 1923 when World War Three was going on in Thighland (citation: Donald J. Trump), so Forkless decided to whitewash himself in the great tradition of Jesus Christ, and then travel forward, fully grown, into the 25th century where he was educated by robots and aliens, and then came back to the 21st century, with some minor stops to check out Punk and Line Dancing along the way.
Can you spot Forkless in the audience?
But how did Forkless travel in time? It’s been rumored that it involved an IBM 5150 computer and some microsingularities, but no one really knows. All we know is that he can dance a mean Macarena and looks bangin’ in a kilt.
Today, Forkless can occasionally be seen in the wild eviscerating conservatives by using facts.
Anything other supposed “truths” about Forkless are nothing but filthy, filthy lies.
“Because the bag contained his laptop, he gave it his all, even though he was in his birthday suit,” explained Landauer.
The boar’s flight was slowed by a cardboard box in its path. The man clapped his hands and hit the ground with the stick, prompting the boar to drop the laptop.
Another witness said: “When he returned from the forest, everyone applauded him.”
Beavers are technically capable of installing their own satellite dishes, said Glynnis Hood, a professor of environmental science at the University of Alberta who has been studying beavers for more than 20 years. They will build a lodge with just about anything, she said.
But while they have the construction skills, the animals are lacking in the technical department.
“I’m not sure if they could directionally install it in a way that they’d get a good shot of Downton Abbey,” she said. “But otherwise, they could install it, but it would probably be covered in mud.”
We here at AtDT are always concerned about the well being of our fans, especially the mentally vulnerable ones who obviously have some kind of mental disorder. This week, we’re going to discuss:
Schizotypal Personality Disorder: A pattern of peculiarities best describes those with schizotypal personality disorder. People may have odd or eccentric manners of speaking or dressing. Strange, outlandish or paranoid beliefs and thoughts are common. People with schizotypal personality disorder have difficulties forming relationships and experience extreme anxiety in social situations. They may react inappropriately or not react at all during a conversation or they may talk to themselves. They also display signs of “magical thinking” by saying they can see into the future or read other people’s minds.
Some of our biggest fans exemplify this disorder.
Example of strange, outlandish, and paranoid beliefs:
Examples of extreme anxiety in social situations (manifested by upvoting oneself with various socks):
Examples of talking to oneself:
Example of “magical thinking”:
If you think you may have Schizotypal Personality Disorder, take the following quiz to see if you need help:
