Are you sick of pedos doubling down on defending other pedos? Take a pedo break and refresh yourself with the latest edition of NEWSFIGHT!

In this corner, we have “Things you should never buy on Etsy”:

An Alabama man has been indicted on multiple federal charges after authorities say he was making drugs in his kitchen and marketing them as cancer treatments.

The drugs, according to the indictment, were homemade suppositories manufactured in an environment so unsterile that customers reported finding pieces of hair in their suppository packs.

Versus “Someone’s never seen a real one” in this corner:

Authorities did their due diligence this week after a woman thought she bought a package of smoked turkey tails but received something that was much more phallic-shaped than expected.

… “I’m calling Save A Lot, this ain’t right,” Singfield said on a Facebook livestream. “I know what this is.”

And catty-corner, we have a special mention:

Four men who blasted compressed air into a friend’s RECTUM are jailed after a judge rejected their claim that it was a prank in Norway

It’s nice to know that stupid people exist other places than Disqus. At least they’re not raping children!

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