All the news that isn't news, except trolls think it's news
From the ATDT archives. Originally posted May 2016 You may not know this, but I, one of your lovely moderators here on As the Disq Turns, used to be the headmistress of Miss Coccyx’s Flop House and School for Burgeoning Internet Attention Whores. I’ve seen a lot of attention whores come and go and can…
Once upon a time, Little Lurker Gerald lurked somewhere he really, really wanted to be a part of, but where no one liked him so he couldn’t participate. Yep, keep on using this gif I made, guys! Shows how much you adore me! XD The reason no one liked him is because he was a…
In an attempt to give our haters a voice, we here at ATDT have decided to start a new section called “Whiner’s Voices”, in which we ask a question and let our most vocal whiners answer it. Question: Why do you keep visiting As the Disq Turns if you hate it so much? Answers: What…
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a crazy old woman in possession of a trailer in Anderson, CA must be in want of meth. “Perhaps if I tell Mr. Saeed, uh, I mean Mr. Paul, things he (and everyone in the known universe) already knows, he’ll finally take me out behind the woodshed and…
This week’s topic: Absolution ab·so·lu·tion /ˌabsəˈl(y)o͞oSH(ə)n/ noun formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment. My dear friends, trolls, and inexplicable hangers-on, I am here today to speak to you about absolution. Yea, I’m talking about forgiveness for former Disqus sins, which I’ve probably forgotten the particulars of at this point or didn’t really give a…
Meanwhile, in some alternate reality… Mahatmashitbag presents (to himself, apparently) an alternate history of Disqus, rife with leftist conspiracies! Then, some gumby* attempts to rewrite the bit about how shitbag’s myriad of socks were spammed — PROTIP: It was solely because he’s a spammer who tagged people incessantly and HAD A SHITLOAD OF SOCK ACCOUNTS:…
That’s right, AtDTers! Everyone’s favorite agony aunt is back to answer your [mainly rhetorical] questions about stuff and things! Dear Aunt Coccyx: What’s an agony aunt?–Loser in Lambeth Loser: It’s who your parents go to see for some discipline because they’re sick of hearing you touch yourself all day in their basement while whining about…
Previously on Disqlandia, Little Red Riding hood twirled and “sang” (screeched) into Bleatington and was greeted with enthusiasm by that old witch who loved Red’s voice: Meanwhile, Micromind had gotten tired of other people on soap boxes as he claimed he could be the only one on a soap box. He started lighting other peoples’…
You can now share your obsession with As the Disq Turns with the whole world by purchasing real life AtDT swag! That’s right! You can rub a piece of AtDT against your body in the privacy of your own basement dwelling! Have you been obsessively whining about everything that happens on this channel since channel…
That’s right, folks! Here it is in black and white: Does it, now? Huh.I beg to differ, dumbass But wait! There’s more idiotsplaining! Something about Fortnite! And real names (which no one uses and we can still have ONLY ONE FUCKING USERNAME ON DISQUS THAT’S NOT OUR REAL NAME, it’s not hard, vuppster!) And? Who…
Previously on Disqlandia Micromind consumed the golden chickens… little did he know they were just spray painted gold and had no powers Frustrated again he stood upon his soap box in Bleatingtons town square, now claiming he was a spokes person for Disqlandia and could invite people into others homes, unfortunately no one heard him…