Hey guys, I’m putting my special “Disqus Protection Team” up for sale because they haven’t done shit to protect me from the trolls and idiots who use their service.
Cases in point:
You can have ’em, Whiny McWhinersons!
$5 or best offer.
If I don’t get any offers within the next hour, I’m leaving them on the sidewalk.
That’s right! It’s a day and a quarter (ish) until “JOS” supposedly “doxes” me!
The “threat”:
Oh look, what’s that coming over the hill! IT’S SOME T-SHIRTS! GET IN THE CAR!
I am ecstatic to be here with you today to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. I am deeply honored that you have chosen me to join the ranks of MLK, Mother Theresa, and Mandela to receive this commendation for my efforts to bring together those who, shall we say, missed the brain handout line because they were too busy looking at themselves in the mirror, pretending to be victimized, masturbating, or doing all three at once.
I accept this prize on behalf of the self-oppressed, the doxxers, and the trolls on Disqus who, at this very moment, have banded together in their hatred of me and misunderstanding of satire in one big kumbaya, even though just the other day they were all threatening each other with doxing, rape, death, and/or all three at once. My power is so great that I can’t even try to be humble about it – I can make the greatest scum of the Earth come together in a giant lovefest/circlejerk because I’m Just. That. Amazing.
This is the best swag I’ve gotten yet!
Thank you.
CoccyxThe InterwebNovember 13, 2019
Today in Alternate History
Today in Alternate History, the song Jolene was actually written in the 19th century by Giuseppe Verdi. It was originally in Italian and it was a sad story about how his cat got kidnapped by aliens.
This has been Today in Alternate History.
Don’t forget the AtDT Store Sale! Thru 11/11!
Disqus Piracy?
Disqus Conspiracy?
Porque no los dos?
All the post comment counts are gone, so now we all look like a typical post on one of MC’s “blogs”.
But at least they’re showing downvotes now…except they’re wimping out and not showing who’s downvoting. Come on, Disqus! You can sell tickets to the drama + commercials and I can laugh my ass off at all the serial downvoters scrambling to delete their accounts so you can’t see all the old downvotes they insisted they never made! It’s a win-win!
In this, the final week of Disqus Channels, the mental breakdowns and true confessions are coming hard and fast. It’s hard to keep up!
Paraphrased highlights from various folks follow:
The nazis: BLAH BLAH BLAH CAT GIFS BLAH BLAH RACIST NONSENSE BLAH BLAH I’M SO BUTTHURT ABOUT NEWS VIEWS AND/OR ATDT I DEVELOPED HEMORRHOIDS
Canadians: “Um, singaling’s really a dude and stole our money. Singaling: “But I’m sorry, so it’s okay. Thoughts and prayers to the rescue!“
This asshole: “I forgive you, singaling, because I did exactly the same thing but never admitted it! Now, Imma gonna write some southern-soundin’ bible-thumpin bullsheet!”
These assholes: “It’s okay that cowboy’s a lying sack of shit because I like “his” utterly fake persona! After all, I’m also a huge sack of shit, I’m utterly fake. and I’m self-centered as fuck!”
Tommy’s Fanclub #1: One word. “Slutbutt“.
Best. Writer. EVAR. Pulitzer, here he comes!
Tommy’s Fanclub #2: “We’re not chronic masturbators! Our pants just chafe!!!!! FUCK YOU BITCH!“
Dumbass Camp: Moron buys a gun, seeks attention
Phew! Let me know if you find any more before D-Day arrives!
…you know, since I’ll have all this “free time” in a week with channels shutting down and all. Here’s a quick promo for it – do you think it’ll sell?
Ten days left until Disqpocalypse and all the crazies are coming out to play.
In a shocking turn of events instead of just fading away and becoming Satan’s bottom bitch [like I thought] LCM is making a comeback and her imaginary nemesis PeeWee is at it again!!
Someone actually took the time to make her a wiki page
Rational Wiki – Lady Checkmate
That is either dedication or hilarious, yet psychotic, art of the interwebz… maybe both?
I’m glad we have a new home so we can watch it from the safety of our office chairs while consuming an absurd amount of popcorn
As those of you who don’t live under rocks already know, Disqus is closing down its channel system as of September 1st and you have probably come to terms with it. However, a good portion of Disqus’ troll contingent are still lingering in the early stages of grief. To wit:
Stage 1: Anger
Example: “Well, I didn’t even like channels anyway! Mods suck! FUCK DA POLICE! Wait a minute, I did like some channels (that put up with my shit).”
Stage 2: Desperation
Example: Willingly giving control of your channel to tommy
Stage 2a: Self-Deletion (Occurs in only 50% of cases.)
Example: Deleting your account after willingly giving control of your channel to tommy
Stage 3: Idiocy
Example: Pretending to get upset that a nazi you gave away your channel to actually hates Jews, especially if you’re a racist, sexist pig and condone racism and sexism yourself.
Stage 4: Acceptance
Example: Trying to make your own “blog”, realizing it’s too hard, setting up Twitter, uh, Slack instead
Wow, a newfangled interweb place is opening so people can…what’s the word…tweet? Yeah, tweet amongst themselves! WHAT A CENTURY WE LIVE IN!
I want to be “FRIENDS” in all caps and quotes (so as to mean not actually friends)! Tell me more, time traveler from the old world!
So, it’s not Twitter, it’s a portal that can close on you, cut you in half, and magically revoke your posting privileges from channels that no longer will exist?! I’m growing concerned.
So, it’s like Fight Club, but with old, boring, racist people? Continue.
So, the fact that “Wishy” already posted his name online as part of his email address and also in the previous post he made below is null and void because…magic? Neato!
Okay, tell me more about this magical place!
Um, you’re going to sit around and count emojis? You had me until that, bro. Sorry, I’m going to have to pass. That’s just sad. Best of luck with your “FRIENDS”!
Just over a year ago today, Urnie pretended he was dying on Disqus for attention.
We here at AtDT are sorry you’ll never see Jesus, Urnie, or Disqus ever again after the Disqapocalypse.
Farewell!
It seems people are getting into the spirit of Disqpocalypse. Especially a man with legit thousands of socks
Thats dedication! 6 days! And not response back until now and the answer is…
