Skip to content

As the Disq Turns

All the news that isn't news, except trolls think it's news

Primary Menu
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • BOOKS
  • MAGIC G6 BALL
  • QUIZZES
  • VIDEOS
  • CLUBHOUSE
  • SUBSCRIBE!
TROLL BAIT AHOY
  • Home
  • 2020
  • July
  • 21
  • NEWSFLASH: Masks protect users from 5G

NEWSFLASH: Masks protect users from 5G

Coccyx July 21, 2020

In an amazing turn of events, drug maker Pfizer (known mainly for Pro-Exit) has determined that masks protect users from 5G frequencies. An official announcement is expected later today.

Public reaction has been highly favorable:

“I used to make up stories about how masks were bad for you because I’m a complete moron, but now that I know that they’ll protect me from 5G, I’ll wear a whole shipload,” said an anonymous source.

“This is the bigliest news ever! Bow down to me for stopping both COVID and 5G in their tracks! It’s a great day for Russia!” said President Trump.

You can tune into the upcoming news conference here.

Tags: conspiracy theorists satire

Continue Reading

Previous: The Reviews Are In!
Next: NEWSFLASH: Idiots finally understand AtDT!

Related Stories

NEWSFLASH: Blocking Goes Bi

NEWSFLASH: Blocking Goes Bi

March 16, 2022
Hold the presses! An internet troll has found several “cures” for COVID!

Hold the presses! An internet troll has found several “cures” for COVID!

January 8, 2022
NEWSFLASH: Triggered by potatoes!

NEWSFLASH: Triggered by potatoes!

December 21, 2020
Copyright © As the Disq Turns, All rights reserved. | MoreNews by AF themes.