It’s almost here, folks! We’re coming up on September 1st, the end of Disqus as we know it!
Time to say buh-bye to the assholes who can’t even afford a real website with an actual name! [Anyone who wants to contribute to the “Please rename our sites from djdfgudf02r10421541034-14.site.me or whatever to a real website name” please send your money directly to me. I’ll make sure it gets to someone who actually deserves it. Thanks!]
Let’s get to partying!
Moronic right wing patsy and “blogger” Jacob Wohl got caught pretending to travel the world this week by several eagle-eyed twitter users, who noticed that even though his photos had different locations on them, they were all taken in front of the same ugly fence.
It’s almost like he’s a typical Disqus poster, isn’t it?
THE COUNTDOWN TO THE END CONTINUES!
Once upon a time, poor little Mariam the Shitlover rolled around in her own shit and called it roses. She did it so often that no one paid attention to her. So, she complained about people using “bad words” and pretended she was a “good person” and called others “scum” while constantly posting pictures of Jo, pretending she didn’t know it was her, and being a complete asshole about it. Then, she obsessively followed the new As the Disq Turns, which she insisted was the most horrible thing in the whole world! So, when Disqus finally went kablooey, poor little Mary withered away like the pathetic piece of shit she is, but not before getting picked up by the trolland police for violating the restraining order that Jo put on her for being obsessed with her legs.
Then, an oaf called Communique didn’t understand the simple concept that people can change their display names without becoming different people, even though she had 100 different names for herself. She was so dumb that she managed to enrage someone even dumber than she is, Wishy the Tit-Fearer, so much that he doxxed the shit out of her while pretending to be the fair Princess Myte! So she put all her time and effort into obsessively copying and pasting a countdown clock from As the Disq Turns everywhere when she could just make one herself, the lazy cunt.
Eri the Attention Whore spent all of her days in trolland servicing other trolls thusly:
She had fake relationship after fake relationship with trolls Dirt Pile/Paul/[FILL IN FAKE “MALE” TROLL NAME HERE], the Justifiers of Drama, because she couldn’t hold down a job in the real world. Then, like clockwork, she’d get really upset when someone called her out on her bullshit and she’d make yet another new account that she would pretend wasn’t hers until she couldn’t stand not receiving the attention she really wanted. The countdown to her getting back with Jos, the Bald Mustardy Doxxer, the only one who could ever give her the constant attention she always wanted, begins now.
In this, the final week of Disqus Channels, the mental breakdowns and true confessions are coming hard and fast. It’s hard to keep up!
Paraphrased highlights from various folks follow:
The nazis: BLAH BLAH BLAH CAT GIFS BLAH BLAH RACIST NONSENSE BLAH BLAH I’M SO BUTTHURT ABOUT NEWS VIEWS AND/OR ATDT I DEVELOPED HEMORRHOIDS
Canadians: “Um, singaling’s really a dude and stole our money. Singaling: “But I’m sorry, so it’s okay. Thoughts and prayers to the rescue!“
This asshole: “I forgive you, singaling, because I did exactly the same thing but never admitted it! Now, Imma gonna write some southern-soundin’ bible-thumpin bullsheet!”
These assholes: “It’s okay that cowboy’s a lying sack of shit because I like “his” utterly fake persona! After all, I’m also a huge sack of shit, I’m utterly fake. and I’m self-centered as fuck!”
Tommy’s Fanclub #1: One word. “Slutbutt“.
Best. Writer. EVAR. Pulitzer, here he comes!
Tommy’s Fanclub #2: “We’re not chronic masturbators! Our pants just chafe!!!!! FUCK YOU BITCH!“
Dumbass Camp: Moron buys a gun, seeks attention
Phew! Let me know if you find any more before D-Day arrives!
A little preface here. Overboard with Kurt and Goldie is one of my favorite movies of all time.. A dear friend of mine who shares my love of this epic movie warned me not to even bother with the new remake. She said I would be disappointed they butchered such a great film.
Of course my curiosity finally led me down the amazon prime path of the remake of Overboard and it’s just so freaking terribly written, and such a pathetic attempt at copying, true, funny entertainment I could not help but think of Deb Allen trying to emulate her obsession, Coccyx. I see why the remake is hence just ignored as Mod Whine II eventually became with ramblings of Queen Bitches and other failed attempts at being creative or witty.
…you know, since I’ll have all this “free time” in a week with channels shutting down and all. Here’s a quick promo for it – do you think it’ll sell?
Ten days left until Disqpocalypse and all the crazies are coming out to play.
In a shocking turn of events instead of just fading away and becoming Satan’s bottom bitch [like I thought] LCM is making a comeback and her imaginary nemesis PeeWee is at it again!!
Someone actually took the time to make her a wiki page
Rational Wiki – Lady Checkmate
That is either dedication or hilarious, yet psychotic, art of the interwebz… maybe both?
I’m glad we have a new home so we can watch it from the safety of our office chairs while consuming an absurd amount of popcorn
I know it seems like I can’t stand all the sexist, racist, inbred, uneducated pieces of human trash that seem to find their way to comment on Disqus, but that’s just not true. I’ll truly miss you once channels have been shut down, so much so that I made a lovely farewell video for everyone to remember you by.
Supposedly, this is a thing now:
Half-business in the front, a big ol’ mess in the back? I got nothin’.
Thoughts? Comments?
As those of you who don’t live under rocks already know, Disqus is closing down its channel system as of September 1st and you have probably come to terms with it. However, a good portion of Disqus’ troll contingent are still lingering in the early stages of grief. To wit:
Stage 1: Anger
Example: “Well, I didn’t even like channels anyway! Mods suck! FUCK DA POLICE! Wait a minute, I did like some channels (that put up with my shit).”
Stage 2: Desperation
Example: Willingly giving control of your channel to tommy
Stage 2a: Self-Deletion (Occurs in only 50% of cases.)
Example: Deleting your account after willingly giving control of your channel to tommy
Stage 3: Idiocy
Example: Pretending to get upset that a nazi you gave away your channel to actually hates Jews, especially if you’re a racist, sexist pig and condone racism and sexism yourself.
Stage 4: Acceptance
Example: Trying to make your own “blog”, realizing it’s too hard, setting up Twitter, uh, Slack instead
Wow, a newfangled interweb place is opening so people can…what’s the word…tweet? Yeah, tweet amongst themselves! WHAT A CENTURY WE LIVE IN!
I want to be “FRIENDS” in all caps and quotes (so as to mean not actually friends)! Tell me more, time traveler from the old world!
So, it’s not Twitter, it’s a portal that can close on you, cut you in half, and magically revoke your posting privileges from channels that no longer will exist?! I’m growing concerned.
So, it’s like Fight Club, but with old, boring, racist people? Continue.
So, the fact that “Wishy” already posted his name online as part of his email address and also in the previous post he made below is null and void because…magic? Neato!
Okay, tell me more about this magical place!
Um, you’re going to sit around and count emojis? You had me until that, bro. Sorry, I’m going to have to pass. That’s just sad. Best of luck with your “FRIENDS”!
