Grandma Moses learns that Chevy, the pig that she thought she ate, is actually alive when she sees it on a local news program. Outrageously enough, a local farmer has decided to put it up for election for a seat on the local town council.

“I figger since an orange pig can run for President, a pink one can run for town council! Yip,” the farmer told the reporter on the screen. “Don’t matter that this ‘un can’t even walk upright or talk or nothin’! He got a nasty ol’ disposition, too! And he smells like three week ol’ shit.”

“Well, that got through the censors! OOPS!” replied the reporter. “What’s your pig’s name? Does he have a campaign slogan?”

“Yessir! I just call ‘im Turd ‘cos that’s what he smells like! And his slogan is ‘A VOTE FOR TURD IS A VOTE FOR A PIG’. Catchy, ain’t it?”

Granny turned the TV off and wondered what the fuck kind of bacon she actually ate back then.

STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT NAILBITING INSTALLMENT!

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