Previously on Disqlandia, Little Red Riding hood twirled and “sang” (screeched) into Bleatington and was greeted with enthusiasm by that old witch who loved Red’s voice:
Meanwhile, Micromind had gotten tired of other people on soap boxes as he claimed he could be the only one on a soap box. He started lighting other peoples’ soap boxes on fire while yelling “Have it your way!
The people of Bleatington got off their soapboxes immediately and poured gasoline on the fire because that’s how they roll.
Things in Disqlandia were quiet and serene. It was a joyful week of laughter and fun. But the evil wizard of Daftsville was plotting and making plans for his little mechanical pigs and was putting them through rigorous training!
Elsewhere, a psychotic flamingo desperate for attention rented some land from that old witch so that he might capture people and hit them in the head with a croquet mallet Everyone looked at him and laughed.
As the smoke settled, the boy who cried wolf waltzed into Bleatington, stood on a burnt soap box and asked the crowd what a fantasy was as he had forgotten what those were like…
Micromind consumed the golden chickens… little did he know they were just spray painted gold and had no powers
Frustrated again he stood upon his soap box in Bleatingtons town square, now claiming he was a spokes person for Disqlandia and could invite people into others homes, unfortunately no one heard him as they too were on soap boxes shouting nonsense as they viewed their issues more important than the rest…
As the villagers of Bleatington stood upon their soapboxes a gnat began buzzing in their ears about the various issues in other parts of the kingdom but his buzzing only annoyed Bleatington…all of a sudden a gallant knight passing through on his way to bring peace and order to the kingdom stopped into Bleatington as he heard the commotion of the villagers and wanted to help…the knight tried reasoning with the villagers with logic.
Alas no one would listen as they were still busy cursing the sky. The gnat however was frustrated that he was getting no attention and buzzed in the face of the knight. “I have no loyalty to the kingdom nor Bleatington,” he buzzed repeatedly.
The knight wasn’t having that shit and the gnat was swatted and killed…no one cared.
At that point The knight did what any logical person would do mounted his horse and got out to hold onto his sanity.
Meanwhile while skipping through the woods little red riding hood heard the noises of Bleatington. She peaked around the trees and saw and heard the crappy fife playing and began to twirl. “That looks like fun!” She exclaimed! You see Little Red would sneak into others homes as well and sing random crappy songs and would be shown the door.
“Grandmas can wait!” she exclaimed as she used the excuse of going to grandma’s whenever she was shown the door as a cover for her bad behavior…she didn’t even know if grandma was even alive still.
Red frolicked her way into Bleatington to join the crappy fife players in song and dance.
Little did they all know the sky wasn’t happy with them for their continuous threats of taking down the stars and their weak ass attempts to pierce it with their pitchforks…
The people of Bleatington never grew tired. They whined and cried all day but made sure to console each other by stating…
Elsewhere…
On a farm a man went to collect his daily dose of knowledge from his informative and helpful golden chickens. When he went to the coup they were nowhere to be found… He too started yelling at the sky in vain.
The golden chickens had made their way to Bleatington as they sensed that many people there were ill informed and lost as the village of Bleatington continued throwing their pitchforks to the sky to make the stars fall…but their aim was terrible and started throwing them at each other causing mortal wounds.
Micromind gazed on the chickens with envy. He enticed them with his words. He claimed to be the leader of Bleatington and Promised the golden chickens he was just trying to make the world a better place.
Most of the chickens weren’t falling for that shit though and took on Micromind head on! They saw past his charm and promises and kicked his ass up and down the hills with their sincere help and knowledge.
Micromind ran like a little baby as he so often does back to the one place that listened to his stupid rants. he had even become a well known groupie for the crappy fife players!! The few golden chickens that decided to stick around Bleatington were making themselves at home and began spreading gossip and lies as they wanted to blend into their new digs…
Micromind then pounced and captured them. He roasted them and consumed them as he thought he would devour their knowledge and could fool the kingdom into allowing him back in.
In a far away place lived a happy kingdom with beautiful land, people, unicorns and shit. The people would play music and dance all day!
Then one day a troll came in. A big nasty one that called himself Micromind. He would eat children and brag to all about how he had a special way to get to the children that no one else had, but wouldn’t share how. All he had was a black van and some candy, and everyone knew this. So no one believed his story about being special. This made him angry.
Micromind claimed he knew magic and would entice the children by attempting to harness the elements of Earth,Wind and Fire. Some of the children followed blindly to his pseudo magic while others listened to their parents and stayed in their homes. Safe from Micromind as they had been protected by the sorceresses wands. This made Micromind very upset as he loved barging into people’s homes and stealing and eating their children.
Micromind was far too dumb to use real magic to face the sorceresses so he crossed the lands far and wide until he finally found a new home. The small town of Bleatington. A place of misfits that had been exiled by the sorceresses. The mayor of the town was an old witch nobody seemed to remember her name so they just addressed her as That Old Witch.
Micromind was enchanted by That Old Witches town and barged into squat as he did in most places he invaded. He would stand in the middle of the town and screech that he wanted Justice, even though he didn’t know what that word meant.
Micromind, frustrated with his pointless efforts to belong to Bleatington, screamed to the sky where he saw the stars. In his little way of thinking he ran to the town square and started shrieking that the sky needed to come down to take out the sorceresses as he believed that is where their power was from.
The people of Bleatington went about their business per usual as they had no idea what anything meant they just wanted to chat and play crappy songs on their fifes to each other as they were in fact exiled for being too annoying with their crappy fife playing…
That Old Witch just smiled and nodded to anything anyone said or played for that matter she had no fucking clue what was going on. So when Micromind suggested the stars to be taken from the sky the Old Witch agreed even though she didn’t know what Micromind was saying she was too busy dancing to the crappy fife playing…
I’d rather do my nails, break them off, and redo them than have any association with this douche
I would rather eat pine needles and listen to shakira’s “hips don’t lie“ on repeat for a whole day than have to read another lame ass, comment of this 3 time clogged artery fuck…
I would rather be stuck on traffic on I90, on a 100° day, with no working air conditioner while Justin Bieber’s “what do you mean” is being played with annoyingly super loud bass in the car next to me than ever read this again
Ten days left until Disqpocalypse and all the crazies are coming out to play.
In a shocking turn of events instead of just fading away and becoming Satan’s bottom bitch [like I thought] LCM is making a comeback and her imaginary nemesis PeeWee is at it again!!
Someone actually took the time to make her a wiki page
