The Rime of the Illiterate Mall Cop

It is an illiterate Mall Cop,
And he makes shit up freely.
‘By my large man boobs and racist claptrap
I shall report on!

The false news doors are opened wide,
And I, Mall Cop, stroll in;
The trolls are met, the fools are set
To read bullshit within.’

He marks up with his Sharpie pen,
‘Look at these comment counts,’ says he.
‘Plantationists! Progressives! Oh my oh my!
How dare no one believe me!’

He works himself into a tizzy—
‘Is it ‘there’ or ‘their’ or ‘they’re’?!
And writes like a three years’ child
and claims that ‘libruls’ make his life unfair.

The Mall Cop continues to ‘write’ on his ‘blog’:
He has nothing else to do;
And thus pretends that he gets paid
and hangs out with fake Jews.

I’m sure someday he’ll have a stroke,
we don’t know when or where,
But don’t worry, he’ll never leave –
even RINOS love their Obamacare.

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