Episode 8: Everything’s Coming Up Bullshit

The Reverend Oral Subconscious never returned from his proselytizing trip with Grandma Moses. Granny was found wandering aimlessly from motel parking lot to motel parking lot, still looking for “pets”. The VW microbus was found in front of the Pink Pussy Nightclub, empty except for some pamphlets and used tissues.

There was also a note on the windshield. It read:”I have been plagged by demons long enuff. Goodby crule world! P.S. I know I’ll be resurected just like Jesus! What say you?” [sic]Coincidentally, a man matching the Reverend’s description miraculously turned up a day later; however, he insisted his name was Milliard and that he was really, really someone else! Not that Reverend at all!

The World’s Dumbest Secret Agent’s Clone, Secret Agent 2 also “disappeared”. But no one really cares. The Upvotologists are still going strong and are now crying over being oppressed. “Just one upvote!” they cry. “One upvote will get you off of our completely inane shitlist into the Kingdom of Heaven!” As always, they get ignored. To make their numbers seem greater, they dress up mannequins in depressing suits and walk around with them, hoping no one will notice they’re not real people.

Tealle Deare, one of the aliens who had landed previously, has taken up epic beat poetry and frequents one bar on open mic night, droning on and on about something no one but she can understand, until she gets the Oscars brushoff every time.

Citizens have been told to watch out for a band of roaming Australians with massive attitude problems and an unholy love for Spam. But that’s normal around those parts.

Is Milliard the Reverend? (DUH, OF COURSE HE IS!) Will the Upvotologists die from lack of upvotes? Will Teale Deare ever learn the art of being succinct? Will the Australians learn to be human? Stay Tuned!

——————————————-

THIS EPISODE BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Related Posts