As the Disq Turns: Episode 1

Today on As the Disq Turns…

The entire world learns that Grandma Moses can’t read after a police officer pulls her over and asks her what the speed limit is when the sign is right in front of her and the exchange is caught on video by some well-meaning passers-by. Grandma Moses is so angered by this, she threatens to start a letter writing campaign. Unfortunately, she can’t read the address to send the letters to, and they all end up at the dead letter office.

Elsewhere, the world’s dumbest Secret Agent is caught when he uses his real name on his travel documents. He insists he’s innocent of all wrongdoing, yet refuses to give actual information about a supposed sleeper agent he purports to know personally, instead saying, “Tee hee! I know exactly who he is, tee hee!” He gets shot by the KGB who are too tired to put up with his shit.

Meanwhile, the good Reverend Oral Subconscious keeps trying to convert people to his flock. Unfortunately, he is far too lazy to open his own tent revival, so he keeps sneaking into random peoples’ houses to hold his sermons and getting ejected. He doesn’t seem to understand why this keeps happening. It makes him so very, very angry!

And finally, some crazy woman stands on a streetcorner and yells about how she invented the internet. No one pays attention.

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