5 things that never happened:
- Channels still exist? And people are complaining about them? Huh.
![](https://i0.wp.com/asthedisqturns.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/screen_shot_2021-02-19_at_8.03.32_pm.png?resize=1024%2C191&ssl=1)
- So will Ferd be doing all this stuff he pretends other people are doing before or after his next fake heart attack?
![](https://i0.wp.com/asthedisqturns.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/screen_shot_2021-02-20_at_2.23.47_pm.png?resize=1024%2C150&ssl=1)
- Thanks for helping Wishy to report those TOS violations, random troll who’s totally Ryan!
![](https://i0.wp.com/asthedisqturns.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/screen_shot_2021-02-19_at_7.52.15_pm.png?resize=580%2C158&ssl=1)
- Did the interweb police hoist him on their shoulders and start a parade after he “took down” the site, too?
![](https://i0.wp.com/asthedisqturns.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/screen_shot_2021-02-19_at_7.48.05_pm.png?resize=748%2C309&ssl=1)
- Someone’s “daughter” pretended their “mother” died and magically logged into her Disqus account so she could tell all the trolls about it. PROTIP: If all your internet “friends” are pretending to die to get away from you, it’s probably because you’re an asshole.
![](https://i0.wp.com/asthedisqturns.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/snip20210218_11.png?resize=613%2C322&ssl=1)
And one thing that did happen:
My EYES!!!!!