Day: September 25, 2019

  • Disqlandia Part 1

    Disqlandia Part 1

    In a far away place lived a happy kingdom with beautiful land, people, unicorns and shit. The people would play music and dance all day!

    Then one day a troll came in. A big nasty one that called himself Micromind. He would eat children and brag to all about how he had a special way to get to the children that no one else had, but wouldn’t share how. All he had was a black van and some candy, and everyone knew this. So no one believed his story about being special. This made him angry.

    Micromind claimed he knew magic and would entice the children by attempting to harness the elements of Earth,Wind and Fire. Some of the children followed blindly to his pseudo magic while others listened to their parents and stayed in their homes. Safe from Micromind as they had been protected by the sorceresses wands. This made Micromind very upset as he loved barging into people’s homes and stealing and eating their children.

    Micromind was far too dumb to use real magic to face the sorceresses so he crossed the lands far and wide until he finally found a new home. The small town of Bleatington. A place of misfits that had been exiled by the sorceresses. The mayor of the town was an old witch nobody seemed to remember her name so they just addressed her as That Old Witch.

    Micromind was enchanted by That Old Witches town and barged into squat as he did in most places he invaded. He would stand in the middle of the town and screech that he wanted Justice, even though he didn’t know what that word meant.

    Micromind, frustrated with his pointless efforts to belong to Bleatington, screamed to the sky where he saw the stars. In his little way of thinking he ran to the town square and started shrieking that the sky needed to come down to take out the sorceresses as he believed that is where their power was from.

    The people of Bleatington went about their business per usual as they had no idea what anything meant they just wanted to chat and play crappy songs on their fifes to each other as they were in fact exiled for being too annoying with their crappy fife playing…

    That Old Witch just smiled and nodded to anything anyone said or played for that matter she had no fucking clue what was going on. So when Micromind suggested the stars to be taken from the sky the Old Witch agreed even though she didn’t know what Micromind was saying she was too busy dancing to the crappy fife playing…

    Stay tuned for the next installment of Disqlandia

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    Soundtrack for Disqlandia part 1:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5QYtYs
  • Things I’d rather do…

    I’d rather do my nails, break them off, and redo them than have any association with this douche

    I would rather eat pine needles and listen to shakira’s “hips don’t lie“ on repeat for a whole day than have to read another lame ass, comment of this 3 time clogged artery fuck…

    I would rather be stuck on traffic on I90, on a 100° day, with no working air conditioner while Justin Bieber’s “what do you mean” is being played with annoyingly super loud bass in the car next to me than ever read this again

    What would you rather be doing?

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